Is It Just Stress - Or Do I Need Therapy UK? 5 Signs to Consider
- Esther Dietrichsen-Farley
- 16 hours ago
- 5 min read
You’re holding it together. Still functioning. Still showing up.
Maybe you call it stress. Maybe you tell yourself it’s just a busy season. You might even joke that “everyone’s a bit burnt out these days.” And on the surface, things look fine. But under that surface, something isn’t sitting right.
You feel tired in a way rest doesn’t fix. You’re flat, emotionally foggy, or starting to wonder if this is just who you are now. You keep going, but the going feels heavier.
If that sounds familiar, you’re not broken. And you’re not alone.
In this post, I’ll explore why so many people in the UK minimise distress as “just stress,” and how to recognise when it might actually be time for therapy - not because you’re falling apart, but because something important in you is asking to be heard.
1. You keep calling it stress, but it doesn’t feel like stress anymore
We use the word stress for everything. Bad day at work? Stress. Sleepless nights? Stress. Emotional numbness? Still stress. But as psychologist Dr Susan David points out, “stress” is often a placeholder for more vulnerable emotions - sadness, guilt, fear, loneliness - that we’ve learned not to name.
In therapy, we often uncover what stress has been covering up.
If your “stress” feels never-ending, or has morphed into emotional flatness, restlessness, or disconnect, it might be time to ask: is this really just stress? Or have I just run out of language for how I feel?
2. You feel emotionally flat, even when things are technically fine
Maybe your life on paper looks good - work’s okay, relationships are stable, no big crisis to speak of - but something feels distant. Like you’re watching your life instead of living it. Things you used to care about don’t land the same. You smile, nod, go through the motions… but part of you isn’t quite there.
This kind of emotional detachment is common in high-functioning burnout, and it rarely resolves on its own. If you want to understand it more deeply, you might find this helpful:
3. You talk yourself out of your own needs
Do you minimise your own pain? Convince yourself other people have it worse? Delay rest, connection, or support because you should be able to cope?
This inner narrative is exhausting. Many of my clients arrive in therapy saying, “I didn’t think I was bad enough for this.” But therapy isn’t a prize for falling apart. It’s a space to understand the quieter ways we disconnect from ourselves, often long before anyone else notices.
Your distress doesn’t have to be dramatic to be valid. You don’t have to earn care.
4. You’re caught in a cycle of coping, but not really recovering
You might be surviving on coffee and adrenaline. You might collapse at the end of the week but never feel truly rested. You might notice irritability, brain fog, or forgetfulness creeping in, but chalk it up to being busy.
When you’re constantly managing your emotions just enough to stay afloat, life becomes a cycle of coping - without ever addressing what’s underneath.
5. You’re starting to ask: is this it?
Even if things are fine, they might not be you. Many people reach out for therapy not because of one crisis, but because of a slow ache: Is this really how I want to live? There’s a sense of emotional disconnection. A longing for more authenticity. A desire to feel more human again.
These aren’t selfish thoughts. They’re signs of aliveness. Therapy isn’t just about symptom relief. It’s about making space for those questions and having someone alongside you while you explore the answers.
If you’ve been quietly wondering, “Do I need therapy UK?”, you’re not alone. Many people start with that exact question - often typed into a search bar at night, feeling unsure but not yet in crisis. It’s a valid question, and it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means something inside you is asking to be heard.
Why it can be hard to say what we’re really feeling
In the UK, emotional understatement is common. We often say things like “I’m fine,” “can’t complain,” or “just stressed” - even when something deeper is going on. This isn’t a flaw; it’s part of a cultural script many of us were raised with. From the legacy of wartime resilience to modern workplace norms, there’s a quiet pressure to keep going, stay composed, and not make a fuss.
Dr Susan David describes how we often use the word stress as a placeholder for more uncomfortable emotions - “I’m overwhelmed,” “I feel lonely,” “I’m scared” - because it feels safer. But staying vague can keep us stuck. Getting specific about how we really feel is often the first step toward healing.
In therapy, there’s no pressure to name things perfectly. But if you’re always brushing off your experiences as “just stress,” it may be worth exploring what’s really going on underneath. Your pain doesn’t have to be dramatic or obvious to matter.
Ready to go deeper than “just stressed”?
If something in this post resonates, you’re not alone and you don’t need to keep carrying it by yourself.
At The Farley, I offer private therapy in Southampton and online across the UK. Whether you're quietly burning out or just not feeling like yourself, you're welcome here.
A note on language
In the UK, people often use the terms counselling and therapy interchangeably. I use both too. While some people view counselling as more short-term and therapy as deeper work, the two often overlap in real life. In my practice, what matters most is that the space feels human, safe, and attuned to you.
Whether you're searching for counselling Southampton, private therapy in Southampton, or exploring private therapy online across the UK, The Farley offers a consistent, grounded space to come back to yourself - whether you think of it as therapy, counselling, or something you’re still figuring out.
References and Further Reading:
Susan David, PhD
David, S. (2016). Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. Avery Publishing.
Relevant quote: “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”
→ Her TED Talk on emotional agility is excellent: Susan David: The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage
Gopal, R. (2020). Keep Calm and Carry On: How British Stoicism Shapes Mental Health. The Guardian.
Sokka, T., & Häkkinen, A. (2022). Cognitive and emotional symptoms of burnout in working professionals. Frontiers in Psychiatry. DOI
NHS UK. (2024). When to Seek Help for Your Mental Health.
