Struggling with Impostor Syndrome as a High-Functioning Adult

Why You Feel Like a Fraud - Even When You’re Doing Everything Right

You’re not failing. You just feel like you might.

You’ve built a career. Managed a household. Shown up for others, again and again. On paper, you’re doing well. But internally, it’s as if your success doesn’t belong to you. You’re waiting for someone to notice. To catch you out. To take it all away.

This isn’t uncommon.

And it isn’t arrogance.

It’s often described as impostor syndrome - and it quietly impacts many competent, capable, and high-functioning adults. For many, it’s not something they talk about but it shows up in how they feel.

What is Impostor Syndrome?

The term “impostor phenomenon” was first coined by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978. They found that many high-achieving individuals - particularly women - experienced ongoing self-doubt and a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite clear evidence of their abilities (Clance & Imes, 1978).

While not a formal diagnosis, impostor syndrome is recognised across psychological literature as a pattern of internalised self-doubt that leads to:

• Over-preparing or perfectionism

• Difficulty internalising success

• Avoidance of visibility (e.g., presentations, promotions)

• Emotional numbness or chronic anxiety

• A fear that you're one misstep away from being “found out”

Studies suggest up to 70% of people will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives (Sakulku & Alexander, 2011), but it's particularly common among high-functioning adults who have learned to cope through performance, productivity, or people-pleasing.

Why High-Functioning Adults Are Especially Vulnerable

Impostor syndrome doesn’t always come with chaos.

In fact, it often comes with promotions.

With awards. Applause. Degrees.

But underneath, it can feel like:

“I’ve done well, but I can’t feel proud.”

“I’m competent, but it still doesn’t feel like enough.”

“If they knew the real me, they’d think differently.”

Many high-functioning adults have spent years - even decades - outperforming their own sense of self-worth. Often, it stems from childhood or early adulthood experiences where competence was rewarded, but emotional needs were overlooked or invalidated.

Over time, you may have internalised the belief that value comes from output, not from being. That safety comes from achievement, not connection.

This emotional pattern often overlaps with other quiet struggles like high-functioning anxiety, perfectionism, or the early signs of high-functioning burnout.

How Therapy Can Support You if This Resonates

These feelings aren’t something to be “fixed.”

They’re something to understand and untangle.

In therapy, we slow things down.

We look at the beliefs beneath the self-doubt.

We make space for the parts of you that feel like they’re still performing, even when no one’s watching.

As a person-centred therapist, I place the relationship at the heart of the work — not as a technique, but as a way of meeting the whole of you: the part that’s coping, and the part that’s quietly scared it’s not enough.

Therapy can help you:

• Identify where these patterns began

• Notice what triggers the “fraud” feeling

• Learn how to internalise success without guilt or vigilance

• Reconnect to a sense of worth that isn’t based on achievement

For some, impostor syndrome is a surface signal - the deeper need is about identity, self-trust, and permission to show up as yourself, not your résumé.

If this resonates, you may also relate to the emotional flattening I write about in talking about burnout, where everything keeps going, but you feel like you’ve quietly disappeared.

A Word for You

If you’ve kept it together for years, but feel like something’s wearing thin: that’s valid. If the applause rings hollow or success feels unsatisfying: that’s valid too.

Therapy doesn’t mean something is “wrong.” It simply offers a space to stop performing. To hear your own thoughts. To feel like you again.

I offer private therapy in Southampton and online therapy across the UK, working with high-functioning adults who are ready to do this differently.

Please feel free to book a free initial consultation or reach out for a conversation.

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Further Reading & References

Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The impostor phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241.

Sakulku, J., & Alexander, J. (2011). The impostor phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6(1), 73–92.

Hutchins, H. M., & Rainbolt, H. (2017). What triggers impostor phenomenon among academic faculty? A critical incident study exploring antecedents, coping, and development opportunities. Human Resource Development International, 20(3), 194–214.