5 Therapy Myths (UK) That Could Be Holding You Back

Esther Dietrichsen-Farley
May 26
3 min read

Updated: Jul 8

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking,

“I’m not the kind of person who goes to therapy,” you are not alone.

There are still plenty of myths in the UK about what therapy is, who it’s for, and what kind of people seek it. These assumptions often stop people from reaching out - even when something inside is quietly asking for support.

Let’s break a few of them down.

A woman sits alone in a café, holding a cup of coffee and gazing out the window. Calm on the outside, but carrying quiet emotional weight. Therapy for burnout, emotional disconnection, and the invisible struggles of high-functioning adults.

Myth 1: You have to be in crisis to go to therapy

Many people assume that therapy is a last resort. Something you turn to when everything’s fallen apart.

But therapy isn’t just for emergencies. It’s also for the slow ache. The flatness. The growing sense that you’re not yourself anymore. That you’ve lost something - direction, clarity, energy, connection - and you don’t know how to get it back.

Therapy is often where people land when they’ve held it all together for too long. When they’re functioning, but not feeling much. It doesn’t have to be a breakdown to be valid.

The NHS now recognises that therapy can support a wide range of emotional and psychological difficulties - not just acute crises. It’s increasingly seen as a form of early intervention, especially for those experiencing long-term stress or emotional disconnection.

(NHS Talking Therapies, 2023)

Myth 2: Talking about it will make it worse

This is one I hear often. Especially from those who’ve learned to power through, keep their emotions private, or put others’ needs first.

There’s a fear that if you name what you’re feeling, it will get bigger. That everything will unravel. But in truth, what we avoid often ends up running the show. Naming it is often the first step toward making it manageable.

Research suggests that putting emotions into words can reduce the intensity of distress. One study found that naming emotions helps regulate activity in the amygdala - the brain’s threat system - allowing for more grounded reflection (Lieberman et al., UCLA, 2007).

Therapy doesn’t force anything. In person-centred work, we move at your pace. If you’re not ready to talk about something, we won’t. But when you do feel safe enough to bring it in - you’re no longer holding it alone.

Myth 3: Therapy means something’s wrong with me

There’s still stigma - subtle but real - around seeking therapy. Especially for high-functioning adults who are used to coping.

But therapy isn’t about being broken. It’s about being human.

It’s for people who’ve been carrying too much, managing silently, or holding themselves to impossible standards. It’s a place to breathe, reflect, and reconnect with what’s real - without needing to justify why you’re there.

💬 You might also like:

→ Therapy for Burnout: What High-Functioning Burnout Feels Like (And Why It’s So Often Missed)

Myth 4: I should be able to figure this out on my own

This myth runs deep. It often shows up in high-achievers, perfectionists, and people who were taught to equate asking for help with weakness.

But this belief is rarely innate - it’s learned. Many adults grew up in families where emotions were avoided, dismissed, or pathologised. When vulnerability wasn’t modelled, self-reliance became the rule.

Dr Gabor Maté describes this as "adapted self-sufficiency" - a survival strategy that can make intimacy and support feel foreign. Therapy can help unpick that, not by blaming the past, but by offering a new kind of relational experience (Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal, 2022).

Myth 5: Therapists just nod and ask how that makes you feel

It’s easy to reduce therapy to a stereotype - especially if you’ve never had it, or had a version of it that didn’t fit.

But good therapy is deeply alive. It’s not passive. It’s a collaborative relationship where you’re met with presence, care, and challenge when needed.

At The Farley, therapy isn’t a performance. You don’t need to have the right words or perfect insight. You just need a starting point.

If something in you recognises this…

I offer person-centred therapy or counselling in Southampton and online across the UK for adults who are functioning on the outside, but feeling something different underneath.

There’s no pressure here - just space to feel, reflect, and begin. Book a consultation if you'd like to start.

The Farley